英文笑话 笑话的英文
www.zhiqu.org 时间： 2024-06-16
One old person complained to the doctor that his right ear was giving him trouble; he couldn't hear.
So the doctor checked, checked, checked, listened, listened and said, "Oh, you know your ear trouble is an old age problem? Your eaLet me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
American psychologists believe that emotional intelligence include the following aspects: First, recognize their own emotions. Only recognize their own because, in order to become masters of their own lives. Two are able to properly manage their own emotions. That is, to control their own; three are self-motivation, it can out of life is low, re-starting. Four others are emotional awareness. This is normal exchanges with others, successfully achieve basic communication; Yes five Interpersonal relations management. That is, the leadership and management capabilities.
That EQ is it? Let us veil撩开EQ, take a look at what EQ? In 1990, the United States more than two psychologists called德拉勒维, one called约翰麦耶, they proposed the "EQ" of the word, when they are emotional IQ to EQ, friends, EQ the "situation "mean? What is EQ? A long time, people's emotional intelligence has been a mystery so difficult to get close to us and EQ, it is difficult to grasp, it is difficult to embrace and EQ. There is one song was very well written, between the advent of what the situation,生死相许only tell people, look how much the story of the world, Three Variations of Plum Flowers are the most ecstasy. Who wrote, Qiongyao. Writing of the situation she男欢女爱are the feelings of the emotional intelligence of our "love" is not男欢女爱, EQ are the initials of its EQ, IQ is the IQ, EQ then what is it? Is the emotional quotient, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence. This is what we always said that the rational, sensible, rational, reasonable, mainly referring to the confidence of you, your perseverance, your determination, your patience, your intuition, your anti-down, and your spirit of cooperation and so on a wide range of people to reflect the degree of quality. Mainly psychological quality. Feel that he is a person to understand, control, and others use to express their emotional ability of a feelings.
Friends, high and low EQ can be demonstrated by a series of capacity. The Daniel Goleman, writing "emotional intelligence" of the United States this book, Professor EQ ability to put people's ability to be summed up as the top five.
First, the ability to recognize their own emotions, that is your own emotions you want to recognize it, someone called him emotional awareness tube. Take my case, an analogy, I have to work the President, from one out of my house, just one out of the house, someone poured poured above the water, he splashed in the water the flowers at my body, it is the first light to fight dirty, and playing dirty clothes, and I are so amazing.想骂turned him out, one look, no one, and not a gas that is necessary to work with gas, go to work, and my Director of the Office to see me, had the President, a nine o'clock, you going to meet what will be open, I interrupted him, What will be, now that the central long, Wenshan will remove the sea, you also asked me to meet meeting meeting. The Director of the Office that the President had today, how do ah, ate closure medicine, I have just come to the office to the Assistant to the President, the President had about a person, and you want the talks. What is talk talk, your job is to interrupt my schedule, you will not let me take a break, how you do engage in the. Assistant said that the president of how to engage today? After a few days, the Assistant Director of the Office and in front of the face that had the President, how are you engaged in the day, and I said how do I engage in, and I do not how to engage the. I do not know. I do not have awareness, I do not have knowledge of their sentiments, I put the water poured into the bad feelings onto the job. You at home with his wife inside a noisy, probably to put units on the mood, you are bad at the gas unit, and not to one's liking and returned home to find his son to find his wife angry hair gas, the same way, and not yourself know. When you do not encounter one's liking, you can not attend a lecture class to concentrate on classes, which are not able to acknowledge their good mood, so we called the Chinese have a saying in the three provinces I吾身day, instead of reviewing the deficiencies. Is said to be self-awareness, including awareness of their feelings, their emotions, which is about the capacity of the first EQ.
The capacity of the second EQ what is it? Want of proper capacity to manage their own emotions, not to let their emotions like a runaway wild horse, emotional, emotional, runaway horse, unable to control.
The third capacity, the capacity of self-motivation.
The fourth ability, the ability to recognize feelings of others. Not only to control their own emotions and feelings of others depends on ah. Called outright,顾着themselves, other people watch. Watch other people's feelings, say so outright.
Fifth, interpersonal skills, ability to deal with.
EQ training methods than a lot of training, in my opinion, there is the more prominent of five methods. First, the training of emotion, emotion. You want the training of the emotions, feelings. How the training? In my opinion there is some advice, first of all, emotions are cognitive, emotional awareness just now spoke, and then analysis of emotions, and then to assess emotional. On the emotional feelings you look what has defects, shortcomings Where? Then again, to control their emotions and mediate emotions, feelings and emotional stability of the coordination of him not to big ups and downs, not moody, it is necessary to maintain a stable mood, not to forget the good time, carried away; times of adversity not to appear negative low hit the time to calmly, easily coping, coping.
Some specific recommendations for the following, first, to manage anger. What is also a way? Transfer method!
Skills are also small, what? Count, the number of figure, 12, want you angry, 1,234,567, and slowly a few, have been a few that do not get angry, it is said that a few number of the figure 60, the hair will generally not have the fire up and try a few to 60.
What is also a way? On the toilet, to anger, and whether it has no intention of urine to the toilet to get squat for 20 minutes to squat over, calm attitude. Although indecent, one may wish to try.
Then rational control, ability to exercise their own self-control, what is there, the cultivation of the world, life and values, so the first our anger about how to do?
The second to overcome the tension, pressure, contradictions, conflicts, risks and crises, it is easy to make us nervous, too much tension on the body of work will do no good to life, to overcome the tension that is what? Have the right objectives, communication and coordination, learn to enjoy recreational activities take part in a number of civilizations. China Central Television to come and listen to our reports, these are very good.
Third, to avoid impatience, mainly cultivate their own忍性, the appropriate goal, there is degree of relaxation, calm and cool-headed, Institute of cold treatment.
Fourth, out of negative emotions, develop their own positive emotions, warm attitude, open mind, the mentality of a sense of accomplishment that they find pleasure, brought fun.
Fifth, give vent to their reasonable, because too much stress, you control control, control Walled heart, explosion, controlled explosion inside the stomach could be an appropriate outlet. Acts of language use to vent their negative emotions in mind, maintaining a balanced attitude. This is also a way how to do? Go to a big mountain, no one of the big mountain, shouting into the mountains, vent, Shouted when doing an exaggeration of motion, relax, and a vent.
The country has a president how his subordinates are proposed, and his subordinates is a high official, the President, I am the person I really want to恨极him揍死. The president said not to hit him, I suggest you call him a letter, discredited by a few curse him. One of the officials think the president has suggested that I call him a letter. Writing ah, just go back and write a letter, curse the world, almost all in. Writing, written. President, how do you watch, when I sent him, not to send him, burn, In any case, the most you would have scolded想骂, and Writing, and the vent, you burnt it. We are now implementing psychologists, psychiatrists in fact, most of us here can be a psychiatrist, you are the best teachers I have psychologists. What is the meaning? Psychologists is that most of the time, his patience to listen to listen to the voices of patients, as long as there is a psychological well being of patients with the audience will be able to put him in a good psychological effect of a change, he said奇效heard.
Sixth, learn to relax. The primary means of relaxing what are? Institute of relaxing mood, relaxing way to a very important one is the humor, want a sense of humor, humor, in particular stress the spirit be able to reduce the psychological stress. I wrote a 1991 book, humorous book, at the beginning of this book is written by me. Humor is a release, you look on the solution of humor, and relax on the off, this book is so I wrote a paragraph, my friends, not to forget the high-grade humorous gifts that other people gifts.
Seventh, take into account the feelings of others, can not watch their emotions, it is necessary to take into account the feelings of others, especially our pupils and students, we must focus on training in this area, some people an emotional impulse, not taking into account other people's emotional情绪.
Eight, it is necessary to create an emotional environment. Student emotions, feelings, people and future generations of our emotions, feelings, a very large extent on where they are schools, where families cultivate trained. If we say that family harmony, kind Teacher, Student co-operation, social harmony, and to students on the impact of our young people are particularly high. This is the training of an invisible, silent cultivate, it is extremely important. Although he is a silent invisible, is the invisible, visible, there is sound of silence at this time. This is me talking about the first five methods of approach, the training of our emotional feelings.
The second way to do that? Learn to deal with interpersonal relationships. Friends, deal with interpersonal relationships This is a thick layer of hieroglyphics, we want some people a lifetime to finally point, not yet read this book through, then how to deal with interpersonal relationships, I have some recommendations below, the first , the people of tolerance, tolerance better than the millions of soldiers, the second, consider transposition, sitting in a chair for you, consider transposition. Third, learn to care about. Fourth caring. Fifth have compassion. Sixth, communication and coordination. Seventh, integrity and honesty. Eight, good co-operation. Ninth, happy to lose. Suffer a kind of spirit are at the expense of his pay, pay can be, willing to spend, has only been rounding. Tenth, dedication sacrifice. This is the first I have developed a method of EQ.
The third development of the EQ training methods? To be optimistic about the open-minded, good at open-minded optimism, brought pleasure, brought fun, how you feel optimistic or pessimistic, this is an important aspect of EQ was EQ This is an important factor, so someone said, will come optimistic, pessimistic about the possible anti - victory for the defeat. My friends, here there is a half glass of water, if I feel pessimistic, I would say, Oh, Oh, no, only a half glass of water, how to do, if I was feeling very good person, open-minded person I am optimistic, I will how to say? Wow, have a half glass of water very good, after all, have a half glass of water is also a half of water, my views on the different. Some people say that happiness Where is it? Happiness brought me to where to find the happy? There is a cat, Old, worried all day, a worried frown, think about him all over the world are the least happy of the Old, but occasionally one watch, a small cat,打圈on the ground, biting its own tail that they own a circular motion to bite its own tail,乐不可支, Old said, small cats, how can you so happy? Small kitten that I have the tail on Happiness. Old home inside and out like a kitten, a circular motion to bite their own tail, bite, bite, really happy, then it is understood, are happy at their own tails up.
This is a joke of course, this is a joke, he stated that he was what you sure you want to find Happiness, Happiness brought their own. Happiness I can set up units in our development set up at our nation's prosperity on the whole, can be set up at Happiness on the success of others, on its own success, happiness can also be used to help others set up at my success, that is These are not, I is not really happy, but I am from a different angle, he might be happy, for a way of thinking, do not put into Happiness on Happiness.
She does not have an old lady happy, why not be happy, she worries that her anxiety, her two sons, her coke, she has two sons, a son of the umbrella are sold, a cloth of. All the rain, her anxiety, and why? All the rain, my son was dry cloth how do ah? Yim Po that he is not the right? The weather was fine, and my two sons how to sell the umbrellas go out? Rain her anxiety, her anxiety of the sun. Both anxiety and coke to the disease, and there is a wise man told her that it a way of thinking for you, glad you all the rain, my son's two umbrella sold. Fine I am happy, ah, my son do a dry cloth. I am glad that Rain is also pleased that I am also glad the sun, from a different angle, EQ.
Fourth methods? EQ our fourth training methods are positive and enterprising. People with high EQ, he has a very high ambition, enterprise, initiative is always full of hope for the future. What is full of hope for the future of society, the motherland, the nation, and the units themselves, their family, life is full of hope.
French writer Maupassant has a famous saying, people are living in hope of the Medium. I hope that there is probably a positive, even a dream, a dream will not even make the nation there is no hope of the nation, everyone is our dream, good dreams, I would like to earn more money tomorrow, I hope a better tomorrow to listen to the report, are dreaming of a weave our dreams, work hard, to realize their dreams, to dream, to strive for, dreams shattered, I would like to go for a dream come true, I also continue to achieve for dream, for dreams dashed, for dream, realize, life is just like that. Full of hope. Friends, to the zoo to see, look the best when the peacock, the screen, watch the best Peacock Kai-Ping, peacock screen after you open it do not look positive, go behind you to take a look at it, not look good at all, in front of Kai-Ping the end, you look behind the bare, you do not look positive, to look after it, too bad you said Peacock, and bare in front of you the best look of the watch are not.
The fifth method is the opportunity to treat life, some people say that high IQ people will find opportunities for people with high EQ will seize the opportunity, people with high stress business, will not easily give up the opportunity. We would like to say that our EQ training to treat life opportunities, especially to give many a chance of success.
Fall than climb up one more success. Many give him a few opportunities, a chance, which is in fact a deep sense of our deep feeling ah. r is getting old, that's all.That's why you can't hear."So the patient said, "Nonsense, the left ear is just as old.
中文：
有个老人向医生抱怨右耳有问题，听不见。
医生检查又检查、听了又听，然后说：「哦！你知道吗？你耳朵有毛病是因为年老的关系，你的右耳已经老化了，所以才听不到。」
病人说：「胡说！我的左耳也一样老呀！」
There were two men who went out to eat together. They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish.
Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big. The first man just took
the big one for himself without asking and feeling ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend
felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said,
" If it were me," I would have taken the smaller one first." So the other guy said," See! I knew that!
That's why I took the big one."
有两个人一起出去吃饭，结果点了两条鱼，不久之后，鱼就上桌了，但是通常鱼的大小都不太一样，所以送来的鱼也是一条大一条小。结果第一个人问也不问，就把比较大的那条鱼夹起来吃，一点都没有不好意思的样子。
另一个人看了心里很不高兴，但是也不知道该说什么才好。他想了一会儿，终于开口说：「如果是我的话，我一定会先拿那条小鱼。」另一个人就接口说：「看吧！我就知道，所以我刚刚才拿大鱼。」
去这里看看
参考资料：http://englishjoke.net/
One old person complained to the doctor that his right ear was giving him trouble; he couldn't hear.
So the doctor checked, checked, checked, listened, listened and said, "Oh, you know your ear trouble is an old age problem? Your ear is getting old, that's all.That's why you can't hear."So the patient said, "Nonsense, the left ear is just as old.
中文：
有个老人向医生抱怨右耳有问题，听不见。
医生检查又检查、听了又听，然后说：「哦！你知道吗？你耳朵有毛病是因为年老的关系，你的右耳已经老化了，所以才听不到。」
病人说：「胡说！我的左耳也一样老呀！」
There were two men who went out to eat together. They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish.
Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big. The first man just took
the big one for himself without asking and feeling ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend
felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said,
" If it were me," I would have taken the smaller one first." So the other guy said," See! I knew that!
That's why I took the big one."
有两个人一起出去吃饭，结果点了两条鱼，不久之后，鱼就上桌了，但是通常鱼的大小都不太一样，所以送来的鱼也是一条大一条小。结果第一个人问也不问，就把比较大的那条鱼夹起来吃，一点都没有不好意思的样子。
另一个人看了心里很不高兴，但是也不知道该说什么才好。他想了一会儿，终于开口说：「如果是我的话，我一定会先拿那条小鱼。」另一个人就接口说：「看吧！我就知道，所以我刚刚才拿大鱼。」
去这里看看
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
American psychologists believe that emotional intelligence include the following aspects: First, recognize their own emotions. Only recognize their own because, in order to become masters of their own lives. Two are able to properly manage their own emotions. That is, to control their own; three are self-motivation, it can out of life is low, re-starting. Four others are emotional awareness. This is normal exchanges with others, successfully achieve basic communication; Yes five Interpersonal relations management. That is, the leadership and management capabilities.
That EQ is it? Let us veil撩开EQ, take a look at what EQ? In 1990, the United States more than two psychologists called德拉勒维, one called约翰麦耶, they proposed the "EQ" of the word, when they are emotional IQ to EQ, friends, EQ the "situation "mean? What is EQ? A long time, people's emotional intelligence has been a mystery so difficult to get close to us and EQ, it is difficult to grasp, it is difficult to embrace and EQ. There is one song was very well written, between the advent of what the situation,生死相许only tell people, look how much the story of the world, Three Variations of Plum Flowers are the most ecstasy. Who wrote, Qiongyao. Writing of the situation she男欢女爱are the feelings of the emotional intelligence of our "love" is not男欢女爱, EQ are the initials of its EQ, IQ is the IQ, EQ then what is it? Is the emotional quotient, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence. This is what we always said that the rational, sensible, rational, reasonable, mainly referring to the confidence of you, your perseverance, your determination, your patience, your intuition, your anti-down, and your spirit of cooperation and so on a wide range of people to reflect the degree of quality. Mainly psychological quality. Feel that he is a person to understand, control, and others use to express their emotional ability of a feelings.
Friends, high and low EQ can be demonstrated by a series of capacity. The Daniel Goleman, writing "emotional intelligence" of the United States this book, Professor EQ ability to put people's ability to be summed up as the top five.
First, the ability to recognize their own emotions, that is your own emotions you want to recognize it, someone called him emotional awareness tube. Take my case, an analogy, I have to work the President, from one out of my house, just one out of the house, someone poured poured above the water, he splashed in the water the flowers at my body, it is the first light to fight dirty, and playing dirty clothes, and I are so amazing.想骂turned him out, one look, no one, and not a gas that is necessary to work with gas, go to work, and my Director of the Office to see me, had the President, a nine o'clock, you going to meet what will be open, I interrupted him, What will be, now that the central long, Wenshan will remove the sea, you also asked me to meet meeting meeting. The Director of the Office that the President had today, how do ah, ate closure medicine, I have just come to the office to the Assistant to the President, the President had about a person, and you want the talks. What is talk talk, your job is to interrupt my schedule, you will not let me take a break, how you do engage in the. Assistant said that the president of how to engage today? After a few days, the Assistant Director of the Office and in front of the face that had the President, how are you engaged in the day, and I said how do I engage in, and I do not how to engage the. I do not know. I do not have awareness, I do not have knowledge of their sentiments, I put the water poured into the bad feelings onto the job. You at home with his wife inside a noisy, probably to put units on the mood, you are bad at the gas unit, and not to one's liking and returned home to find his son to find his wife angry hair gas, the same way, and not yourself know. When you do not encounter one's liking, you can not attend a lecture class to concentrate on classes, which are not able to acknowledge their good mood, so we called the Chinese have a saying in the three provinces I吾身day, instead of reviewing the deficiencies. Is said to be self-awareness, including awareness of their feelings, their emotions, which is about the capacity of the first EQ.
The capacity of the second EQ what is it? Want of proper capacity to manage their own emotions, not to let their emotions like a runaway wild horse, emotional, emotional, runaway horse, unable to control.
The third capacity, the capacity of self-motivation.
The fourth ability, the ability to recognize feelings of others. Not only to control their own emotions and feelings of others depends on ah. Called outright,顾着themselves, other people watch. Watch other people's feelings, say so outright.
Fifth, interpersonal skills, ability to deal with.
EQ training methods than a lot of training, in my opinion, there is the more prominent of five methods. First, the training of emotion, emotion. You want the training of the emotions, feelings. How the training? In my opinion there is some advice, first of all, emotions are cognitive, emotional awareness just now spoke, and then analysis of emotions, and then to assess emotional. On the emotional feelings you look what has defects, shortcomings Where? Then again, to control their emotions and mediate emotions, feelings and emotional stability of the coordination of him not to big ups and downs, not moody, it is necessary to maintain a stable mood, not to forget the good time, carried away; times of adversity not to appear negative low hit the time to calmly, easily coping, coping.
Some specific recommendations for the following, first, to manage anger. What is also a way? Transfer method!
Skills are also small, what? Count, the number of figure, 12, want you angry, 1,234,567, and slowly a few, have been a few that do not get angry, it is said that a few number of the figure 60, the hair will generally not have the fire up and try a few to 60.
What is also a way? On the toilet, to anger, and whether it has no intention of urine to the toilet to get squat for 20 minutes to squat over, calm attitude. Although indecent, one may wish to try.
Then rational control, ability to exercise their own self-control, what is there, the cultivation of the world, life and values, so the first our anger about how to do?
The second to overcome the tension, pressure, contradictions, conflicts, risks and crises, it is easy to make us nervous, too much tension on the body of work will do no good to life, to overcome the tension that is what? Have the right objectives, communication and coordination, learn to enjoy recreational activities take part in a number of civilizations. China Central Television to come and listen to our reports, these are very good.
Third, to avoid impatience, mainly cultivate their own忍性, the appropriate goal, there is degree of relaxation, calm and cool-headed, Institute of cold treatment.
Fourth, out of negative emotions, develop their own positive emotions, warm attitude, open mind, the mentality of a sense of accomplishment that they find pleasure, brought fun.
Fifth, give vent to their reasonable, because too much stress, you control control, control Walled heart, explosion, controlled explosion inside the stomach could be an appropriate outlet. Acts of language use to vent their negative emotions in mind, maintaining a balanced attitude. This is also a way how to do? Go to a big mountain, no one of the big mountain, shouting into the mountains, vent, Shouted when doing an exaggeration of motion, relax, and a vent.
The country has a president how his subordinates are proposed, and his subordinates is a high official, the President, I am the person I really want to恨极him揍死. The president said not to hit him, I suggest you call him a letter, discredited by a few curse him. One of the officials think the president has suggested that I call him a letter. Writing ah, just go back and write a letter, curse the world, almost all in. Writing, written. President, how do you watch, when I sent him, not to send him, burn, In any case, the most you would have scolded想骂, and Writing, and the vent, you burnt it. We are now implementing psychologists, psychiatrists in fact, most of us here can be a psychiatrist, you are the best teachers I have psychologists. What is the meaning? Psychologists is that most of the time, his patience to listen to listen to the voices of patients, as long as there is a psychological well being of patients with the audience will be able to put him in a good psychological effect of a change, he said奇效heard.
Sixth, learn to relax. The primary means of relaxing what are? Institute of relaxing mood, relaxing way to a very important one is the humor, want a sense of humor, humor, in particular stress the spirit be able to reduce the psychological stress. I wrote a 1991 book, humorous book, at the beginning of this book is written by me. Humor is a release, you look on the solution of humor, and relax on the off, this book is so I wrote a paragraph, my friends, not to forget the high-grade humorous gifts that other people gifts.
Seventh, take into account the feelings of others, can not watch their emotions, it is necessary to take into account the feelings of others, especially our pupils and students, we must focus on training in this area, some people an emotional impulse, not taking into account other people's emotional情绪.
Eight, it is necessary to create an emotional environment. Student emotions, feelings, people and future generations of our emotions, feelings, a very large extent on where they are schools, where families cultivate trained. If we say that family harmony, kind Teacher, Student co-operation, social harmony, and to students on the impact of our young people are particularly high. This is the training of an invisible, silent cultivate, it is extremely important. Although he is a silent invisible, is the invisible, visible, there is sound of silence at this time. This is me talking about the first five methods of approach, the training of our emotional feelings.
The second way to do that? Learn to deal with interpersonal relationships. Friends, deal with interpersonal relationships This is a thick layer of hieroglyphics, we want some people a lifetime to finally point, not yet read this book through, then how to deal with interpersonal relationships, I have some recommendations below, the first , the people of tolerance, tolerance better than the millions of soldiers, the second, consider transposition, sitting in a chair for you, consider transposition. Third, learn to care about. Fourth caring. Fifth have compassion. Sixth, communication and coordination. Seventh, integrity and honesty. Eight, good co-operation. Ninth, happy to lose. Suffer a kind of spirit are at the expense of his pay, pay can be, willing to spend, has only been rounding. Tenth, dedication sacrifice. This is the first I have developed a method of EQ.
The third development of the EQ training methods? To be optimistic about the open-minded, good at open-minded optimism, brought pleasure, brought fun, how you feel optimistic or pessimistic, this is an important aspect of EQ was EQ This is an important factor, so someone said, will come optimistic, pessimistic about the possible anti - victory for the defeat. My friends, here there is a half glass of water, if I feel pessimistic, I would say, Oh, Oh, no, only a half glass of water, how to do, if I was feeling very good person, open-minded person I am optimistic, I will how to say? Wow, have a half glass of water very good, after all, have a half glass of water is also a half of water, my views on the different. Some people say that happiness Where is it? Happiness brought me to where to find the happy? There is a cat, Old, worried all day, a worried frown, think about him all over the world are the least happy of the Old, but occasionally one watch, a small cat,打圈on the ground, biting its own tail that they own a circular motion to bite its own tail,乐不可支, Old said, small cats, how can you so happy? Small kitten that I have the tail on Happiness. Old home inside and out like a kitten, a circular motion to bite their own tail, bite, bite, really happy, then it is understood, are happy at their own tails up.
This is a joke of course, this is a joke, he stated that he was what you sure you want to find Happiness, Happiness brought their own. Happiness I can set up units in our development set up at our nation's prosperity on the whole, can be set up at Happiness on the success of others, on its own success, happiness can also be used to help others set up at my success, that is These are not, I is not really happy, but I am from a different angle, he might be happy, for a way of thinking, do not put into Happiness on Happiness.
She does not have an old lady happy, why not be happy, she worries that her anxiety, her two sons, her coke, she has two sons, a son of the umbrella are sold, a cloth of. All the rain, her anxiety, and why? All the rain, my son was dry cloth how do ah? Yim Po that he is not the right? The weather was fine, and my two sons how to sell the umbrellas go out? Rain her anxiety, her anxiety of the sun. Both anxiety and coke to the disease, and there is a wise man told her that it a way of thinking for you, glad you all the rain, my son's two umbrella sold. Fine I am happy, ah, my son do a dry cloth. I am glad that Rain is also pleased that I am also glad the sun, from a different angle, EQ.
Fourth methods? EQ our fourth training methods are positive and enterprising. People with high EQ, he has a very high ambition, enterprise, initiative is always full of hope for the future. What is full of hope for the future of society, the motherland, the nation, and the units themselves, their family, life is full of hope.
French writer Maupassant has a famous saying, people are living in hope of the Medium. I hope that there is probably a positive, even a dream, a dream will not even make the nation there is no hope of the nation, everyone is our dream, good dreams, I would like to earn more money tomorrow, I hope a better tomorrow to listen to the report, are dreaming of a weave our dreams, work hard, to realize their dreams, to dream, to strive for, dreams shattered, I would like to go for a dream come true, I also continue to achieve for dream, for dreams dashed, for dream, realize, life is just like that. Full of hope. Friends, to the zoo to see, look the best when the peacock, the screen, watch the best Peacock Kai-Ping, peacock screen after you open it do not look positive, go behind you to take a look at it, not look good at all, in front of Kai-Ping the end, you look behind the bare, you do not look positive, to look after it, too bad you said Peacock, and bare in front of you the best look of the watch are not.
The fifth method is the opportunity to treat life, some people say that high IQ people will find opportunities for people with high EQ will seize the opportunity, people with high stress business, will not easily give up the opportunity. We would like to say that our EQ training to treat life opportunities, especially to give many a chance of success.
Fall than climb up one more success. Many give him a few opportunities, a chance, which is in fact a deep sense of our deep feeling ah.
英文短笑话~
#卞菁待# 请提供一个经典的英语幽默笑话 -
(15388208287)： 1. Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed ...
#卞菁待# 谁可以告诉我几个非常好笑的英语笑话 -
(15388208287)： Always Thirsty ＂I had an operation,＂ said a man to his friend, ＂and the doctor left a sponge in me.＂ ＂That's terrible!＂ said the friend. ＂Got any pain?＂ ＂No, but I am always thirsty!＂ 总感到口渴 一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术...
#卞菁待# 英语爆笑笑话
(15388208287)： A smart housewife A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: ＂That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no ...
#卞菁待# 求几则英语笑话?
(15388208287)： a letter black write to white Dearwhite,somethingyougottoknow. 亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道. WhenIwasborn,Iwasblack. 当我出生时,我是黑色的. WhenIgrowup,Iamblack. 我长大了,我是黑色的. WhenI'munderthesun,I'...
#卞菁待# 谁有搞笑的英文笑话,发几个看看,有用,谢谢了! -
(15388208287)： A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. ＂Come on, miss!＂ he shouted. ＂Shut the door, please!＂ ＂Oh, I just want to ...
#卞菁待# 英语笑话或小短文50 - 100 - 作业帮
(15388208287)：[答案] 英语笑话(一) Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小.但除此之外呢...
#卞菁待# 一篇英语小笑话 -
(15388208287)： They're Busy May I speak to your parents? ” “ They're busy. ” “ Oh. Is anybody else there? ” “ The police. ” “ Can I speak to them? ” “ They're busy. ” “ Oh. Is anybody else there? ” “ The firemen. ” “ Can I speak to them? ” “ ...
#卞菁待# 求英语的短笑话!3~4句的!(急)
(15388208287)： To Give Up the Seat Little Johnny says ＂Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.＂ ＂Well, you've done the right thing,＂ says Mommy ＂But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap.＂ 让座 小约翰...
#卞菁待# 关于英语的笑话 -
(15388208287)： Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day. 'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.' 'Don'...
So the doctor checked, checked, checked, listened, listened and said, "Oh, you know your ear trouble is an old age problem? Your eaLet me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
American psychologists believe that emotional intelligence include the following aspects: First, recognize their own emotions. Only recognize their own because, in order to become masters of their own lives. Two are able to properly manage their own emotions. That is, to control their own; three are self-motivation, it can out of life is low, re-starting. Four others are emotional awareness. This is normal exchanges with others, successfully achieve basic communication; Yes five Interpersonal relations management. That is, the leadership and management capabilities.
That EQ is it? Let us veil撩开EQ, take a look at what EQ? In 1990, the United States more than two psychologists called德拉勒维, one called约翰麦耶, they proposed the "EQ" of the word, when they are emotional IQ to EQ, friends, EQ the "situation "mean? What is EQ? A long time, people's emotional intelligence has been a mystery so difficult to get close to us and EQ, it is difficult to grasp, it is difficult to embrace and EQ. There is one song was very well written, between the advent of what the situation,生死相许only tell people, look how much the story of the world, Three Variations of Plum Flowers are the most ecstasy. Who wrote, Qiongyao. Writing of the situation she男欢女爱are the feelings of the emotional intelligence of our "love" is not男欢女爱, EQ are the initials of its EQ, IQ is the IQ, EQ then what is it? Is the emotional quotient, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence. This is what we always said that the rational, sensible, rational, reasonable, mainly referring to the confidence of you, your perseverance, your determination, your patience, your intuition, your anti-down, and your spirit of cooperation and so on a wide range of people to reflect the degree of quality. Mainly psychological quality. Feel that he is a person to understand, control, and others use to express their emotional ability of a feelings.
Friends, high and low EQ can be demonstrated by a series of capacity. The Daniel Goleman, writing "emotional intelligence" of the United States this book, Professor EQ ability to put people's ability to be summed up as the top five.
First, the ability to recognize their own emotions, that is your own emotions you want to recognize it, someone called him emotional awareness tube. Take my case, an analogy, I have to work the President, from one out of my house, just one out of the house, someone poured poured above the water, he splashed in the water the flowers at my body, it is the first light to fight dirty, and playing dirty clothes, and I are so amazing.想骂turned him out, one look, no one, and not a gas that is necessary to work with gas, go to work, and my Director of the Office to see me, had the President, a nine o'clock, you going to meet what will be open, I interrupted him, What will be, now that the central long, Wenshan will remove the sea, you also asked me to meet meeting meeting. The Director of the Office that the President had today, how do ah, ate closure medicine, I have just come to the office to the Assistant to the President, the President had about a person, and you want the talks. What is talk talk, your job is to interrupt my schedule, you will not let me take a break, how you do engage in the. Assistant said that the president of how to engage today? After a few days, the Assistant Director of the Office and in front of the face that had the President, how are you engaged in the day, and I said how do I engage in, and I do not how to engage the. I do not know. I do not have awareness, I do not have knowledge of their sentiments, I put the water poured into the bad feelings onto the job. You at home with his wife inside a noisy, probably to put units on the mood, you are bad at the gas unit, and not to one's liking and returned home to find his son to find his wife angry hair gas, the same way, and not yourself know. When you do not encounter one's liking, you can not attend a lecture class to concentrate on classes, which are not able to acknowledge their good mood, so we called the Chinese have a saying in the three provinces I吾身day, instead of reviewing the deficiencies. Is said to be self-awareness, including awareness of their feelings, their emotions, which is about the capacity of the first EQ.
The capacity of the second EQ what is it? Want of proper capacity to manage their own emotions, not to let their emotions like a runaway wild horse, emotional, emotional, runaway horse, unable to control.
The third capacity, the capacity of self-motivation.
The fourth ability, the ability to recognize feelings of others. Not only to control their own emotions and feelings of others depends on ah. Called outright,顾着themselves, other people watch. Watch other people's feelings, say so outright.
Fifth, interpersonal skills, ability to deal with.
EQ training methods than a lot of training, in my opinion, there is the more prominent of five methods. First, the training of emotion, emotion. You want the training of the emotions, feelings. How the training? In my opinion there is some advice, first of all, emotions are cognitive, emotional awareness just now spoke, and then analysis of emotions, and then to assess emotional. On the emotional feelings you look what has defects, shortcomings Where? Then again, to control their emotions and mediate emotions, feelings and emotional stability of the coordination of him not to big ups and downs, not moody, it is necessary to maintain a stable mood, not to forget the good time, carried away; times of adversity not to appear negative low hit the time to calmly, easily coping, coping.
Some specific recommendations for the following, first, to manage anger. What is also a way? Transfer method!
Skills are also small, what? Count, the number of figure, 12, want you angry, 1,234,567, and slowly a few, have been a few that do not get angry, it is said that a few number of the figure 60, the hair will generally not have the fire up and try a few to 60.
What is also a way? On the toilet, to anger, and whether it has no intention of urine to the toilet to get squat for 20 minutes to squat over, calm attitude. Although indecent, one may wish to try.
Then rational control, ability to exercise their own self-control, what is there, the cultivation of the world, life and values, so the first our anger about how to do?
The second to overcome the tension, pressure, contradictions, conflicts, risks and crises, it is easy to make us nervous, too much tension on the body of work will do no good to life, to overcome the tension that is what? Have the right objectives, communication and coordination, learn to enjoy recreational activities take part in a number of civilizations. China Central Television to come and listen to our reports, these are very good.
Third, to avoid impatience, mainly cultivate their own忍性, the appropriate goal, there is degree of relaxation, calm and cool-headed, Institute of cold treatment.
Fourth, out of negative emotions, develop their own positive emotions, warm attitude, open mind, the mentality of a sense of accomplishment that they find pleasure, brought fun.
Fifth, give vent to their reasonable, because too much stress, you control control, control Walled heart, explosion, controlled explosion inside the stomach could be an appropriate outlet. Acts of language use to vent their negative emotions in mind, maintaining a balanced attitude. This is also a way how to do? Go to a big mountain, no one of the big mountain, shouting into the mountains, vent, Shouted when doing an exaggeration of motion, relax, and a vent.
The country has a president how his subordinates are proposed, and his subordinates is a high official, the President, I am the person I really want to恨极him揍死. The president said not to hit him, I suggest you call him a letter, discredited by a few curse him. One of the officials think the president has suggested that I call him a letter. Writing ah, just go back and write a letter, curse the world, almost all in. Writing, written. President, how do you watch, when I sent him, not to send him, burn, In any case, the most you would have scolded想骂, and Writing, and the vent, you burnt it. We are now implementing psychologists, psychiatrists in fact, most of us here can be a psychiatrist, you are the best teachers I have psychologists. What is the meaning? Psychologists is that most of the time, his patience to listen to listen to the voices of patients, as long as there is a psychological well being of patients with the audience will be able to put him in a good psychological effect of a change, he said奇效heard.
Sixth, learn to relax. The primary means of relaxing what are? Institute of relaxing mood, relaxing way to a very important one is the humor, want a sense of humor, humor, in particular stress the spirit be able to reduce the psychological stress. I wrote a 1991 book, humorous book, at the beginning of this book is written by me. Humor is a release, you look on the solution of humor, and relax on the off, this book is so I wrote a paragraph, my friends, not to forget the high-grade humorous gifts that other people gifts.
Seventh, take into account the feelings of others, can not watch their emotions, it is necessary to take into account the feelings of others, especially our pupils and students, we must focus on training in this area, some people an emotional impulse, not taking into account other people's emotional情绪.
Eight, it is necessary to create an emotional environment. Student emotions, feelings, people and future generations of our emotions, feelings, a very large extent on where they are schools, where families cultivate trained. If we say that family harmony, kind Teacher, Student co-operation, social harmony, and to students on the impact of our young people are particularly high. This is the training of an invisible, silent cultivate, it is extremely important. Although he is a silent invisible, is the invisible, visible, there is sound of silence at this time. This is me talking about the first five methods of approach, the training of our emotional feelings.
The second way to do that? Learn to deal with interpersonal relationships. Friends, deal with interpersonal relationships This is a thick layer of hieroglyphics, we want some people a lifetime to finally point, not yet read this book through, then how to deal with interpersonal relationships, I have some recommendations below, the first , the people of tolerance, tolerance better than the millions of soldiers, the second, consider transposition, sitting in a chair for you, consider transposition. Third, learn to care about. Fourth caring. Fifth have compassion. Sixth, communication and coordination. Seventh, integrity and honesty. Eight, good co-operation. Ninth, happy to lose. Suffer a kind of spirit are at the expense of his pay, pay can be, willing to spend, has only been rounding. Tenth, dedication sacrifice. This is the first I have developed a method of EQ.
The third development of the EQ training methods? To be optimistic about the open-minded, good at open-minded optimism, brought pleasure, brought fun, how you feel optimistic or pessimistic, this is an important aspect of EQ was EQ This is an important factor, so someone said, will come optimistic, pessimistic about the possible anti - victory for the defeat. My friends, here there is a half glass of water, if I feel pessimistic, I would say, Oh, Oh, no, only a half glass of water, how to do, if I was feeling very good person, open-minded person I am optimistic, I will how to say? Wow, have a half glass of water very good, after all, have a half glass of water is also a half of water, my views on the different. Some people say that happiness Where is it? Happiness brought me to where to find the happy? There is a cat, Old, worried all day, a worried frown, think about him all over the world are the least happy of the Old, but occasionally one watch, a small cat,打圈on the ground, biting its own tail that they own a circular motion to bite its own tail,乐不可支, Old said, small cats, how can you so happy? Small kitten that I have the tail on Happiness. Old home inside and out like a kitten, a circular motion to bite their own tail, bite, bite, really happy, then it is understood, are happy at their own tails up.
This is a joke of course, this is a joke, he stated that he was what you sure you want to find Happiness, Happiness brought their own. Happiness I can set up units in our development set up at our nation's prosperity on the whole, can be set up at Happiness on the success of others, on its own success, happiness can also be used to help others set up at my success, that is These are not, I is not really happy, but I am from a different angle, he might be happy, for a way of thinking, do not put into Happiness on Happiness.
She does not have an old lady happy, why not be happy, she worries that her anxiety, her two sons, her coke, she has two sons, a son of the umbrella are sold, a cloth of. All the rain, her anxiety, and why? All the rain, my son was dry cloth how do ah? Yim Po that he is not the right? The weather was fine, and my two sons how to sell the umbrellas go out? Rain her anxiety, her anxiety of the sun. Both anxiety and coke to the disease, and there is a wise man told her that it a way of thinking for you, glad you all the rain, my son's two umbrella sold. Fine I am happy, ah, my son do a dry cloth. I am glad that Rain is also pleased that I am also glad the sun, from a different angle, EQ.
Fourth methods? EQ our fourth training methods are positive and enterprising. People with high EQ, he has a very high ambition, enterprise, initiative is always full of hope for the future. What is full of hope for the future of society, the motherland, the nation, and the units themselves, their family, life is full of hope.
French writer Maupassant has a famous saying, people are living in hope of the Medium. I hope that there is probably a positive, even a dream, a dream will not even make the nation there is no hope of the nation, everyone is our dream, good dreams, I would like to earn more money tomorrow, I hope a better tomorrow to listen to the report, are dreaming of a weave our dreams, work hard, to realize their dreams, to dream, to strive for, dreams shattered, I would like to go for a dream come true, I also continue to achieve for dream, for dreams dashed, for dream, realize, life is just like that. Full of hope. Friends, to the zoo to see, look the best when the peacock, the screen, watch the best Peacock Kai-Ping, peacock screen after you open it do not look positive, go behind you to take a look at it, not look good at all, in front of Kai-Ping the end, you look behind the bare, you do not look positive, to look after it, too bad you said Peacock, and bare in front of you the best look of the watch are not.
The fifth method is the opportunity to treat life, some people say that high IQ people will find opportunities for people with high EQ will seize the opportunity, people with high stress business, will not easily give up the opportunity. We would like to say that our EQ training to treat life opportunities, especially to give many a chance of success.
Fall than climb up one more success. Many give him a few opportunities, a chance, which is in fact a deep sense of our deep feeling ah. r is getting old, that's all.That's why you can't hear."So the patient said, "Nonsense, the left ear is just as old.
中文：
有个老人向医生抱怨右耳有问题，听不见。
医生检查又检查、听了又听，然后说：「哦！你知道吗？你耳朵有毛病是因为年老的关系，你的右耳已经老化了，所以才听不到。」
病人说：「胡说！我的左耳也一样老呀！」
There were two men who went out to eat together. They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish.
Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big. The first man just took
the big one for himself without asking and feeling ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend
felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said,
" If it were me," I would have taken the smaller one first." So the other guy said," See! I knew that!
That's why I took the big one."
有两个人一起出去吃饭，结果点了两条鱼，不久之后，鱼就上桌了，但是通常鱼的大小都不太一样，所以送来的鱼也是一条大一条小。结果第一个人问也不问，就把比较大的那条鱼夹起来吃，一点都没有不好意思的样子。
另一个人看了心里很不高兴，但是也不知道该说什么才好。他想了一会儿，终于开口说：「如果是我的话，我一定会先拿那条小鱼。」另一个人就接口说：「看吧！我就知道，所以我刚刚才拿大鱼。」
去这里看看
参考资料：http://englishjoke.net/
One old person complained to the doctor that his right ear was giving him trouble; he couldn't hear.
So the doctor checked, checked, checked, listened, listened and said, "Oh, you know your ear trouble is an old age problem? Your ear is getting old, that's all.That's why you can't hear."So the patient said, "Nonsense, the left ear is just as old.
中文：
有个老人向医生抱怨右耳有问题，听不见。
医生检查又检查、听了又听，然后说：「哦！你知道吗？你耳朵有毛病是因为年老的关系，你的右耳已经老化了，所以才听不到。」
病人说：「胡说！我的左耳也一样老呀！」
There were two men who went out to eat together. They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish.
Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big. The first man just took
the big one for himself without asking and feeling ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend
felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said,
" If it were me," I would have taken the smaller one first." So the other guy said," See! I knew that!
That's why I took the big one."
有两个人一起出去吃饭，结果点了两条鱼，不久之后，鱼就上桌了，但是通常鱼的大小都不太一样，所以送来的鱼也是一条大一条小。结果第一个人问也不问，就把比较大的那条鱼夹起来吃，一点都没有不好意思的样子。
另一个人看了心里很不高兴，但是也不知道该说什么才好。他想了一会儿，终于开口说：「如果是我的话，我一定会先拿那条小鱼。」另一个人就接口说：「看吧！我就知道，所以我刚刚才拿大鱼。」
去这里看看
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
American psychologists believe that emotional intelligence include the following aspects: First, recognize their own emotions. Only recognize their own because, in order to become masters of their own lives. Two are able to properly manage their own emotions. That is, to control their own; three are self-motivation, it can out of life is low, re-starting. Four others are emotional awareness. This is normal exchanges with others, successfully achieve basic communication; Yes five Interpersonal relations management. That is, the leadership and management capabilities.
That EQ is it? Let us veil撩开EQ, take a look at what EQ? In 1990, the United States more than two psychologists called德拉勒维, one called约翰麦耶, they proposed the "EQ" of the word, when they are emotional IQ to EQ, friends, EQ the "situation "mean? What is EQ? A long time, people's emotional intelligence has been a mystery so difficult to get close to us and EQ, it is difficult to grasp, it is difficult to embrace and EQ. There is one song was very well written, between the advent of what the situation,生死相许only tell people, look how much the story of the world, Three Variations of Plum Flowers are the most ecstasy. Who wrote, Qiongyao. Writing of the situation she男欢女爱are the feelings of the emotional intelligence of our "love" is not男欢女爱, EQ are the initials of its EQ, IQ is the IQ, EQ then what is it? Is the emotional quotient, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence. This is what we always said that the rational, sensible, rational, reasonable, mainly referring to the confidence of you, your perseverance, your determination, your patience, your intuition, your anti-down, and your spirit of cooperation and so on a wide range of people to reflect the degree of quality. Mainly psychological quality. Feel that he is a person to understand, control, and others use to express their emotional ability of a feelings.
Friends, high and low EQ can be demonstrated by a series of capacity. The Daniel Goleman, writing "emotional intelligence" of the United States this book, Professor EQ ability to put people's ability to be summed up as the top five.
First, the ability to recognize their own emotions, that is your own emotions you want to recognize it, someone called him emotional awareness tube. Take my case, an analogy, I have to work the President, from one out of my house, just one out of the house, someone poured poured above the water, he splashed in the water the flowers at my body, it is the first light to fight dirty, and playing dirty clothes, and I are so amazing.想骂turned him out, one look, no one, and not a gas that is necessary to work with gas, go to work, and my Director of the Office to see me, had the President, a nine o'clock, you going to meet what will be open, I interrupted him, What will be, now that the central long, Wenshan will remove the sea, you also asked me to meet meeting meeting. The Director of the Office that the President had today, how do ah, ate closure medicine, I have just come to the office to the Assistant to the President, the President had about a person, and you want the talks. What is talk talk, your job is to interrupt my schedule, you will not let me take a break, how you do engage in the. Assistant said that the president of how to engage today? After a few days, the Assistant Director of the Office and in front of the face that had the President, how are you engaged in the day, and I said how do I engage in, and I do not how to engage the. I do not know. I do not have awareness, I do not have knowledge of their sentiments, I put the water poured into the bad feelings onto the job. You at home with his wife inside a noisy, probably to put units on the mood, you are bad at the gas unit, and not to one's liking and returned home to find his son to find his wife angry hair gas, the same way, and not yourself know. When you do not encounter one's liking, you can not attend a lecture class to concentrate on classes, which are not able to acknowledge their good mood, so we called the Chinese have a saying in the three provinces I吾身day, instead of reviewing the deficiencies. Is said to be self-awareness, including awareness of their feelings, their emotions, which is about the capacity of the first EQ.
The capacity of the second EQ what is it? Want of proper capacity to manage their own emotions, not to let their emotions like a runaway wild horse, emotional, emotional, runaway horse, unable to control.
The third capacity, the capacity of self-motivation.
The fourth ability, the ability to recognize feelings of others. Not only to control their own emotions and feelings of others depends on ah. Called outright,顾着themselves, other people watch. Watch other people's feelings, say so outright.
Fifth, interpersonal skills, ability to deal with.
EQ training methods than a lot of training, in my opinion, there is the more prominent of five methods. First, the training of emotion, emotion. You want the training of the emotions, feelings. How the training? In my opinion there is some advice, first of all, emotions are cognitive, emotional awareness just now spoke, and then analysis of emotions, and then to assess emotional. On the emotional feelings you look what has defects, shortcomings Where? Then again, to control their emotions and mediate emotions, feelings and emotional stability of the coordination of him not to big ups and downs, not moody, it is necessary to maintain a stable mood, not to forget the good time, carried away; times of adversity not to appear negative low hit the time to calmly, easily coping, coping.
Some specific recommendations for the following, first, to manage anger. What is also a way? Transfer method!
Skills are also small, what? Count, the number of figure, 12, want you angry, 1,234,567, and slowly a few, have been a few that do not get angry, it is said that a few number of the figure 60, the hair will generally not have the fire up and try a few to 60.
What is also a way? On the toilet, to anger, and whether it has no intention of urine to the toilet to get squat for 20 minutes to squat over, calm attitude. Although indecent, one may wish to try.
Then rational control, ability to exercise their own self-control, what is there, the cultivation of the world, life and values, so the first our anger about how to do?
The second to overcome the tension, pressure, contradictions, conflicts, risks and crises, it is easy to make us nervous, too much tension on the body of work will do no good to life, to overcome the tension that is what? Have the right objectives, communication and coordination, learn to enjoy recreational activities take part in a number of civilizations. China Central Television to come and listen to our reports, these are very good.
Third, to avoid impatience, mainly cultivate their own忍性, the appropriate goal, there is degree of relaxation, calm and cool-headed, Institute of cold treatment.
Fourth, out of negative emotions, develop their own positive emotions, warm attitude, open mind, the mentality of a sense of accomplishment that they find pleasure, brought fun.
Fifth, give vent to their reasonable, because too much stress, you control control, control Walled heart, explosion, controlled explosion inside the stomach could be an appropriate outlet. Acts of language use to vent their negative emotions in mind, maintaining a balanced attitude. This is also a way how to do? Go to a big mountain, no one of the big mountain, shouting into the mountains, vent, Shouted when doing an exaggeration of motion, relax, and a vent.
The country has a president how his subordinates are proposed, and his subordinates is a high official, the President, I am the person I really want to恨极him揍死. The president said not to hit him, I suggest you call him a letter, discredited by a few curse him. One of the officials think the president has suggested that I call him a letter. Writing ah, just go back and write a letter, curse the world, almost all in. Writing, written. President, how do you watch, when I sent him, not to send him, burn, In any case, the most you would have scolded想骂, and Writing, and the vent, you burnt it. We are now implementing psychologists, psychiatrists in fact, most of us here can be a psychiatrist, you are the best teachers I have psychologists. What is the meaning? Psychologists is that most of the time, his patience to listen to listen to the voices of patients, as long as there is a psychological well being of patients with the audience will be able to put him in a good psychological effect of a change, he said奇效heard.
Sixth, learn to relax. The primary means of relaxing what are? Institute of relaxing mood, relaxing way to a very important one is the humor, want a sense of humor, humor, in particular stress the spirit be able to reduce the psychological stress. I wrote a 1991 book, humorous book, at the beginning of this book is written by me. Humor is a release, you look on the solution of humor, and relax on the off, this book is so I wrote a paragraph, my friends, not to forget the high-grade humorous gifts that other people gifts.
Seventh, take into account the feelings of others, can not watch their emotions, it is necessary to take into account the feelings of others, especially our pupils and students, we must focus on training in this area, some people an emotional impulse, not taking into account other people's emotional情绪.
Eight, it is necessary to create an emotional environment. Student emotions, feelings, people and future generations of our emotions, feelings, a very large extent on where they are schools, where families cultivate trained. If we say that family harmony, kind Teacher, Student co-operation, social harmony, and to students on the impact of our young people are particularly high. This is the training of an invisible, silent cultivate, it is extremely important. Although he is a silent invisible, is the invisible, visible, there is sound of silence at this time. This is me talking about the first five methods of approach, the training of our emotional feelings.
The second way to do that? Learn to deal with interpersonal relationships. Friends, deal with interpersonal relationships This is a thick layer of hieroglyphics, we want some people a lifetime to finally point, not yet read this book through, then how to deal with interpersonal relationships, I have some recommendations below, the first , the people of tolerance, tolerance better than the millions of soldiers, the second, consider transposition, sitting in a chair for you, consider transposition. Third, learn to care about. Fourth caring. Fifth have compassion. Sixth, communication and coordination. Seventh, integrity and honesty. Eight, good co-operation. Ninth, happy to lose. Suffer a kind of spirit are at the expense of his pay, pay can be, willing to spend, has only been rounding. Tenth, dedication sacrifice. This is the first I have developed a method of EQ.
The third development of the EQ training methods? To be optimistic about the open-minded, good at open-minded optimism, brought pleasure, brought fun, how you feel optimistic or pessimistic, this is an important aspect of EQ was EQ This is an important factor, so someone said, will come optimistic, pessimistic about the possible anti - victory for the defeat. My friends, here there is a half glass of water, if I feel pessimistic, I would say, Oh, Oh, no, only a half glass of water, how to do, if I was feeling very good person, open-minded person I am optimistic, I will how to say? Wow, have a half glass of water very good, after all, have a half glass of water is also a half of water, my views on the different. Some people say that happiness Where is it? Happiness brought me to where to find the happy? There is a cat, Old, worried all day, a worried frown, think about him all over the world are the least happy of the Old, but occasionally one watch, a small cat,打圈on the ground, biting its own tail that they own a circular motion to bite its own tail,乐不可支, Old said, small cats, how can you so happy? Small kitten that I have the tail on Happiness. Old home inside and out like a kitten, a circular motion to bite their own tail, bite, bite, really happy, then it is understood, are happy at their own tails up.
This is a joke of course, this is a joke, he stated that he was what you sure you want to find Happiness, Happiness brought their own. Happiness I can set up units in our development set up at our nation's prosperity on the whole, can be set up at Happiness on the success of others, on its own success, happiness can also be used to help others set up at my success, that is These are not, I is not really happy, but I am from a different angle, he might be happy, for a way of thinking, do not put into Happiness on Happiness.
She does not have an old lady happy, why not be happy, she worries that her anxiety, her two sons, her coke, she has two sons, a son of the umbrella are sold, a cloth of. All the rain, her anxiety, and why? All the rain, my son was dry cloth how do ah? Yim Po that he is not the right? The weather was fine, and my two sons how to sell the umbrellas go out? Rain her anxiety, her anxiety of the sun. Both anxiety and coke to the disease, and there is a wise man told her that it a way of thinking for you, glad you all the rain, my son's two umbrella sold. Fine I am happy, ah, my son do a dry cloth. I am glad that Rain is also pleased that I am also glad the sun, from a different angle, EQ.
Fourth methods? EQ our fourth training methods are positive and enterprising. People with high EQ, he has a very high ambition, enterprise, initiative is always full of hope for the future. What is full of hope for the future of society, the motherland, the nation, and the units themselves, their family, life is full of hope.
French writer Maupassant has a famous saying, people are living in hope of the Medium. I hope that there is probably a positive, even a dream, a dream will not even make the nation there is no hope of the nation, everyone is our dream, good dreams, I would like to earn more money tomorrow, I hope a better tomorrow to listen to the report, are dreaming of a weave our dreams, work hard, to realize their dreams, to dream, to strive for, dreams shattered, I would like to go for a dream come true, I also continue to achieve for dream, for dreams dashed, for dream, realize, life is just like that. Full of hope. Friends, to the zoo to see, look the best when the peacock, the screen, watch the best Peacock Kai-Ping, peacock screen after you open it do not look positive, go behind you to take a look at it, not look good at all, in front of Kai-Ping the end, you look behind the bare, you do not look positive, to look after it, too bad you said Peacock, and bare in front of you the best look of the watch are not.
The fifth method is the opportunity to treat life, some people say that high IQ people will find opportunities for people with high EQ will seize the opportunity, people with high stress business, will not easily give up the opportunity. We would like to say that our EQ training to treat life opportunities, especially to give many a chance of success.
Fall than climb up one more success. Many give him a few opportunities, a chance, which is in fact a deep sense of our deep feeling ah.
英文短笑话~
1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
2、What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?
什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?
A coin!
硬币。
4、What has one eye but cannot see?
什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?
A needle.
针。
5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"
妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: "What does that mean?"
妻子：那是什么意思?
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
丈夫：开个玩笑!
6、Boy: Is this seat empty?
男孩：这个座位是空的么？
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。7、My little dog can't read我的狗不识字
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”8、My Wife Will Exchange Them
反正我太太明天会来换的
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。
″Any″ he responded.
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
″Size﹖″
“号码呢？”
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
joke
音标:英 [dʒəʊk]美 [dʒoʊk]
词典释义
joken.笑话，玩笑；笑柄，笑料
jestn.笑话，玩笑；戏谑，诙谐；笑柄
japev.开玩笑
数据来源：金山词霸
例句
1.他喜欢笑话。
He loves a joke.
《汉英大词典》
2.你听过那个关于爱尔兰人、英国人和美国人的笑话吗？
Have you heard the one about the Irishman, the Englishman and the American?
《柯林斯高阶英汉双解学习词典》
3.那只不过是句玩笑话。
That's only a joke.
《汉英大词典》
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