10个英文笑话带中文翻译

随着不断的发展，各个国家的关系不断加强，英语对每个人的生活来说就显得非常重要了，而英语的学习方法是我们不断地寻找和追求的，那么今天我们不妨通过一些小笑话来学习英语吧！
1.Abitofadviceforthoseabouttoretire.Ifyouareonly65,nevermovetoaretirementcommunity.Everybodyelseisintheir70s,80s,or90s.Sowhensomethinghastobemoved,liftedorloaded,theyyell,Getthekid.
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
2.MotherFreddie,whyisyourfacesored
FreddieIwasrunningupthestreettostopafight.
MotherThatsaverynicethingtodo.Whowasfighting
FreddieMeandJackieSmith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？
妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
3.Adistinguishedclergymanandtheeldersfromhiscongregationattendedanout-of-townmeetingthatdidnotfinishuntilratherlate.Theydecidedtohavesomethingtoeatbeforegointhome,butunfortunatelytheonlyspotopenwasaseedybar-and-grillwithaquestionablereputation.
Afterbeingserved,oneoftheeldersaskedtheclergymantosaygrace.Idrathernot,,theclergymansaid,IdontwantHimtoknowImhere.
一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会，他们打算在回家前吃点东西。但很不巧只有一家名声不好的下等酒吧烤菜馆开着门。
饭后，一位老人要牧师祈祷。“我想我是免了，”牧师说。“我不想让主知道我在这里。”
4.TomWilliamhasaskedmeforaloanoffivepounds.ShouldIbedoingrightinlendingittohim
JackCertainly.
TomAndwhy
JackBecauseotherwisehewouldtrytoborrowitfromme.
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
杰克：当然应该了。
汤姆：为什么？
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
5.
Iwasaccompanyingmyhusbandonabusinesstrip.Hecarriedhisportablecomputerwithhim,andtheguardattheairportgateaskedhimtoopenthecase.Itwaslocked,andthemanwaitedpatientlyasmyembarrassedspousestruggledtorememberthecombination.Atlasthesucceeded.
WhyareyousonervousIaskedhim.
Thenumbersarethedateofouranniversary.myusbandconfessed.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的手提式计算机。机场出口处检查员要他打开包。他耐心的等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。
“你为什么那么紧张呢？”我问他。
“这密码是我们结婚纪念日。”他承认道
6.Anoldladywhowasverydeafandwhothoughteverythingtoodear,wentintoashopandaskedtheshopmanHowmuchthisstuff
Sevendollars,Madam,itisverycheap.Thel
adysaid,Itistoomuch,giveittomeforfourteen.Ididnotsayseventeendollars,butseven.
Itisstilltoomuch,repliedtheoldlady,giveittomeforfive.
一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”
“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”
店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”
“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”
7.MotherWhyareyoujumpingupanddown
TomIvejusttakensomemedicineandIforgottoshakethebottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了
8.OneeveningIdrovemyhusbandscartotheshoppingmall.
Onmyreturn,Inoticedthathowdustytheoutsideofhiscarwasandcleaneditupabit.WhenIfinallyenteredthehouse,Icalledout.Thewomanwholovesyouthemostintheworldjustcleanedyourheadlightsandwindshield.
Myhusbandlookedupandsaid,Momshere
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
9.Mr.JohnsonAreyouusingyoumowerthisafternoon
Mr.SmithYes.
Mr.JohnsonFine.ThencanIborrowyourtennisracket,sinceyouwontbeneedingit
约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗？
史密斯先生：是的。
约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗？
10.Marywassodisgustedatherhusbandscigarettesmokingthatshecomplainedtohimoneday.
Ihopethatallthecigarettefactorieswillcatchfiresomeday.
Dontworry,dear.Allthecigaretteswillbeonfiresoonerorlater.Hesaidwithasmile.
玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟，一天对他抱怨说：“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。”
“不用担心，亲爱的，所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。”他笑着说。


~

---

#徒帖卢# 英文笑话,附汉译.谢谢 -
(19675074639)： 英语短笑话:荒唐的信 Two psychiatrists were at a convention. “What was your most difficult case?” one asked the other. “Once I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world,” replied his colleague. “He believed that a wildly rich uncle in ...

#徒帖卢# 小学英语笑话带翻译 -
(19675074639)： ass and man 驴1.和买驴的人 A man wanted to buy an ass. He went to the market, and saw a likely one. But he wanted to test him first. So he took the ass home, and put him into the stable with the other asses. The new ass looked around, and ...

#徒帖卢# 英语小笑话带翻译 -
(19675074639)： Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he ...

#徒帖卢# 急!!求英文笑话...带中文翻译... -
(19675074639)： 第一个 A wise teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: ＂If you promise not to believe everything that your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.＂ 一个聪明的老师在学期...

#徒帖卢# 我要英文短笑话(配中文译文) -
(19675074639)： TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, ＂School-Go Slow＂. 汤姆的借口 老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:＂学...

#徒帖卢# 几个英语笑话带翻译的
(19675074639)： One or Two Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish. Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two. 顾客:服务员,我盘子里怎么只有一块肉? 服务员:先生,请稍候,我去把它切成两块. Father and Son Son: Is it true, Dad, ...

#徒帖卢# 英语笑话带翻译 -
(19675074639)： Look,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,“这些画多漂亮呀:“先生.” Does the dog know the proverb. “看; ＂t be afraid.但是胖子认为他更有风度,车上的座位全都被占满了;It',我得收二十五美元. One room was very noisy;When can we have ...

#徒帖卢# 求英语笑话 带翻译 -
(19675074639)： Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. ＂What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?＂ ＂I gave it to a poor old woman,＂ he answered. ＂You're a good boy,＂ said the mother proudly. ＂Here are two cents more. But why ...

#徒帖卢# 英语笑话带翻译
(19675074639)： Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 ...